When I Realize I'm Getting Used to This....

It's funny: there's a point in my travels when I stop taking photos, writing blog posts, or sending my family updates about my whereabouts and well-being because everything around me becomes the norm. I am no longer appalled by the constant whistles, honks, shouts, and grabs I get from men while walking through town. I have gotten completely used to the unbelievable quantity of trash all over the ground, and the people's tendency and even habit of simply chuck their empty water bottle or plastic bag out the window when they feel they don't need it anymore. Even the children throw their candy wrappers and right into the river or ocean... Three full-sized, dead pigs stacked on the back of a motorbike that's wizzing through traffic, someone threatening a fellow businessman with a machete over a transaction disagreement, or a bus driver picking his nose hairs while driving a packed bus through a congested city don't surprise me anymore. A 20hr bus ride in a freezing cold bus, squeezed in with the locals, all sitting on hard seats (or standing) doesn't bother me any more - especially if it means paying just a fraction of the "gringo" price.

And then, on the other hand, it takes a much bigger jungle snake, spider, or lizard, more colorful sunset, taller mountain, greener canyon, or and even taller stack of perfect mangos to bring me to taking out my camera, because I'm just LIVING it! 

I have seen so many stunning children, landscapes, cultural ceremonies. I have met such interesting, inspiring, and influential people that I'll never forget. I have been exposed to many ugly habits, angry,  aggressive, and abusive men and drunks, have been scared, especially in vulnerable situations plenty of times. I've been followed for a nerve wrecking distance in the dark, and been robbed multiple times. I've been offered every drug imaginable and seen people obsessively shooting up right out in the open, in the middle of town. And am constantly, unfairly and aggravatingly manipulated out of my money. I have experienced poverty and need - from a distance as well as first hand. I have felt proud and fortunate to be a healthy, American-German girl, who has been able to earn the funds and has found the courage and motivation to travel around the world, learning more than you or even I can imagine. And, on the other hand, I have wanted to cover up and hide my nationality(s), gender, social status, age, and other things that define me, usually in attempt to better fit into the culture I am surrounded by and learning about; but sometimes it's out of embarrassment by the automatic preconceptions and judgements our actions have made people have about us.

All these experiences -and many others- aren't things I had expected to see or would ever happen to me, and I have learned from each one and gained perspective that will help me approach my life with more clarity, patience, etc.

So if any of you are awaiting any sort of update from me an have been disappointed by the silence you've received, I apologize. Try to understand that I am doing my thing, living my life HERE and NOW. I would love to be able to share all this with alll of you, and would love for you all to be able to experience this, that...and so much more! Sooo much love!